Happily Ever After.

THE ENGAGEMENT STORY:

I've been getting a lot of questions of how David proposed and "the story." So I figured I would give everyone a good laugh and tell the story of how I cancelled my own dream proposal.

I was supposed to have a flying lesson on Wednesday morning with one of my best friend's husband who is a flight instructor at my school. I looked up the weather forecast and it said it was MVFR...which in non aviation terms means the weather was kinda hit or miss. You could fly in it but you may not want to. And that same morning, my friend's instrument check ride (basically your driver's license test for piloting) was cancelled because the examiner said the weather wasn't good enough. So knowing this information, I texted him telling him to cancel my lesson for weather. Well, since he was in communication with David and knew he had a "plan", he kept saying to come to the airport and he was going to charge me money for my lesson if I didn't come. Me being overly emotional got upset with how aggressive he was being about me coming to the flight school when every other student was allowed to cancel for the weather. I didn't want to fly in questionable conditions where I felt I wasn't going to learn anything and it would be a waste of money. I started crying and that is when David realized he was gonna have to go to plan B. His original plan was to propose to me at the airport when we landed and my family as well as his would be waiting by the ATC tower watching the proposal and taking pictures. My friend Liz (Nick, the flight instructor's wife) was also going to be there waiting with her professional camera. Once I cancelled my lesson and stopped crying, David went to plan B.

We decided to go out to eat to Max and Erma's for lunch. He was texting everyone the new plan during lunch. We decided to go ice skating around the Christmas tree since I've been begging for us to go. Everyone knows Christmas is my favorite time of the year. So we decided to meet up with our friends Matthew and Vanessa to go ice skating. Well, on the drive to the ice skating rink, my food was not sitting right. I hadn't had meat in about a month due to having the stomach bug and then mono which gives you no appetite. I made the mistake of having a burger. Soooooo, now I'm hunched over in the back seat dying of pain. Poor David. He got scared he was gonna have to abort this mission as well! We got downtown and the poor kid is running into CVS getting me medicine while I'm in the bathroom for 20 minutes, all while texting everyone what's going on and to keep hiding. I finally came out and said LET'S GO ICESKATING.

We started walking towards the tree and Vanessa said to get a picture in front of the Christmas tree. While she was taking a VIDEO, David got down on one knee and asked for me to marry him. Completely shocked and overwhelmed with happiness, I then looked up and saw my family and his come out from around the corner. It even took me a whole 3 minutes to even see Liz who was taking amazing pictures the entire time.

Poor David has to deal with ME for the rest of his life. But I am so incredibly thankful and blessed by everyone who made our moment absolutely perfect. And hey, who else can say they cancelled their own proposal? Here's to our happily ever after!

Photos: 

Facebook: Weaver Studio

Instagram: Liz.weaver.photography

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...

The past 2 months have been interesting for me. A lot of change has occurred...and I'm not used to change. 2 months ago, I ruptured my eardrum inflight causing me to not be allowed to work. And if you know anything about me, you know I'm addicted to my job. I am used to working triple overtime and keeping myself busy as well as never home. A week before I ruptured my eardrum, I moved out of my parents' house and into my own place. So here I am...without a job and never living on my own before. And if you know me well enough, you would know that...I don't do well alone. 

Some of my closest friends (those poor souls) have had to watch me be an emotional roller coaster for 2 months now. Having good days and bad days adapting to this new transition, it hasn't been easy on me. There are some days where I absolutely love living on my own and having the day off. But other days, it tears me apart. Because as most of you have probably experienced for yourself, when you are left alone, you are left with thinking...way too much. 

I am an over thinker. 

I think too much about what people think of me. I think too much about my looks. I think too much about if people like me or not. I think too much about everything.

Tonight, I was left thinking too much. After getting upset about something so small, that's when I came to this realization.

Why does it even matter?

Facebook now has the feature to view your old memories of what you have posted on this day however many years ago. Some of the posts that come up on mine are song lyrics that I have posted in the past. And usually, I am able to tell if I was having a good or bad day at that time in whatever year it was. One year ago from today, I posted song lyrics of Twenty One Pilots...

"Sometimes, to stay alive you've gotta kill your mind."

Just from those lyrics, I was able to tell that on this day one year ago, I was clearly thinking too much. The thing about it though is this. If you were to ask me right now what I was upset about or what I was thinking too much about when I posted that, I would have absolutely no idea how to answer you. 

This made me FINALLY realize that yes, things may upset us in life. Or someone may do something that hurts our feelings. We may not get invited somewhere or someone may ignore our text or snapchat. And we may over think when someone says they like our hair a different way or length. But how we handle that emotion is up to us. Is it really worth getting that worked up over? Is it really worth all that heartache and letting the smallest thing eat us up inside? Because if we take a step back for a moment and look at the bigger picture, are you really going to remember what upset you a year from now? However, the moments you will remember are the positive moments. You will remember the laughs and the jokes that were told. You will remember the moments they FaceTimed you for hours on your birthday. You will remember the bonfires with your friends and the songs that remind you of those nights. You aren't going to remember why you were so upset or why you felt so bad about yourself. 

So the advice that I am giving myself tonight as well as everyone else is this (and yes, sometimes the hardest thing to do is listening to our own advice)...

Don't sweat the small stuff. Is it really worth your happiness or even a friendship?

Prayers.

Father, I am left in my hotel room with thoughts of regret, doubt, and in need of hope. You know the desires of my heart Lord. Help me to trust in Your timing and Your plan for my life. Help me to continuously love others when I can't seem to love myself. The guilt weighs heavily from time to time for the mistakes that I have made and continue to make. Things that I regret doing or not doing always seem to enter my thoughts late at night. Lord, help me to forgive myself and to not dwell on the past. I pray that You help set my eyes on what is to come and the beautiful plan that You have for my life. From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry for the occasional lack of trust in You. I admit I need You Lord. My greatest desire is to know You more Lord. Help guide me in my decisions and let me always remember where You have already brought me from. On a path of destruction, You chose to rescue me. I pray that I never lose sight of that. I pray for continuous opportunities to share Your love and that I may be a light in the darkness. I need Your constant reminder that Your plan is greater than any plan I could ever have for myself. I thank You for Your endless love and mercy in my life. Thank you for forgiving me when I can't forgive myself. Thank You for loving me when thoughts enter saying I'm not good enough for anyone or anything. Constantly striving for perfection, I forget that it's okay not to be okay. Lord, show me how to love like You. Continuously give me a servant's heart so that I may always remember it is better to give than to receive. I love You, Lord. And everyday, I need You. Forgive me of the mistakes that I will make and help me to repent of the sins in my life. Give me such a strong desire to know You more Lord that I may completely lose sight of the things in this world that do not matter. I love You, Father. And thank You for rescuing me from the darkest places.

"How can You love me?," she said to Thee.
"I don't understand how you can forgive so easily.
The mistakes that I've made can't even compare to the price that You paid.
How can You still choose me? I'm not the person You created me to be."
He looked to her and said,
"I remember your sins no more, just wait until you see what I have in store.
I created you perfectly, no need to perfect. When the negative thoughts arise, I promise to interject.
 I love you for who you are, not what you have become.
There is no need to fear, for I know the roots you came from.
You are my daughter, my child, my true and precious love.
And when the thoughts of doubt arise, set your eyes on not the world,
but just remember to simply look above."

Life in the Airline Industry.

Delays, cancellations, overbookings. If you have ever flown before, you have probably experienced at least one of these things. Before I worked for the airlines, I always had this view as a passenger that the employees could care less about delays or cancellations. I mean, they're still getting paid for it, right? So why should they care?

Dang, was I wrong.

Let me be the one to explain to you what our job looks like and how it may be a little different than yours. Your crew members get paid hourly based on flight time. What this means is that our pay starts when the cabin door closes and our pay stops when it opens. This means that all of those delays just sitting on the ground? Yeah, we hate them just as much as you do...if not even more.

Here's an example.

I worked a flight last month that left the gate and was taxiing to the runway when a maintenance issue occurred. We then had to return to the gate and open the cabin door to let maintenance on to fix the problem. That slowly turned into a 3 and a half hour delay where the passengers stayed onboard...meaning we were not allowed to step off the aircraft. For those 3 and a half hours, our crew got paid for 10 minutes...because the door was reopened.

Because of this type of pay, our job looks a little different than a normal desk job. We are able to extend to a 16 hour day when in reality, we could potentially only get paid for 4 hours that day. This makes for a long work day, exhausted crews, and a job that makes it hard to pay the bills. Your job usually would allow for you to work 40 hours a week. Our job only guarantees us 75 flight hours a month. This is why the job can be challenging. Especially for your pilots. Realize that your pilots have most likely spent way more money getting that job than the job offers in return. Getting enough hours to be qualified for the job can become quite expensive.

Even though the job can be tiring and some days feel like it's not worth it, I can honestly say I love my job. If you ask any airline employee that question, there are only a few that would say otherwise. The pros outweigh the cons in my opinion. We get to travel for free, meet people from all over the world, and make friends quicker than anyone. When you start a trip, you are usually introduced to your crew for the first time that day. I have yet to work with the same flight attendant more than once. I do find myself flying with the same pilots on multiple occasions though. It can be exciting when you see someone you know on your schedule for a trip. I have made incredible friends through this industry and keep in touch with a lot of them. It is so exciting getting to explore cities with brand new friends. I love adventuring on my off days, which makes it fun when you have friends that have free flying benefits as well. Meeting up in a random city to explore always makes for an exciting life.

Another thing about our job is that it is addicting. No matter how crappy our day gets, no matter how many cancellations, no matter how many calls from crew scheduling...there is nothing in the world that compares to the view from our "office." I never in my life thought I would be so in love with the sky. When I am on the ground or in my car, I catch myself constantly looking up and watching the clouds go by or watching the planes fly over and wonder where it was flying in from. There is absolutely nothing in the world that compares to the feeling that you're flying.

When I first got this job, I had a totally different view on the airlines. I thought being a flight attendant just meant serving drinks at 25,000 feet. Don't get me wrong, customer service is a huge part of the job. However, we are there for a lot more than that. We go for weeks/months of intense training. Training that I never in a million years thought I would have to do. We are trained for every situation humanly possible that could possibly happen when at 25,000 feet in the air. When you are that high up, there is no one else that can help you. It's all on you. Your flight attendants are your medical professionals, firefighters, and your rescuers. We are trained for any emergency situation including emergency landings, water landings, cabin filled with smoke, attempted hijackings, heart attacks, strokes, you name it. We are trained for hours on what to do in all situations. From the simplest nose bleed to someone having a seizure, we know what to do. Pilots are trained for all types of emergencies as well. Even though they aren't dealing with any passengers, they are in charge of the entire aircraft. Engine failures, bird strikes, lightning strikes, blown tires, landing gear malfunctions, they know how to handle it.

Hours of hard work were put in for us to have this job. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. There are very few days where I feel like I am actually working. If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. And that makes it a beautiful thing. However, the next time you get on a flight, show your appreciation for your airline crews. And realize that our lives are not so luxurious and easy like you may think. Hours of dedication were done in order for us to get you to wherever the sky may be leading you.

So for all my fellow travelers out there, safe travels and happy flying from yours truly:)

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands. -Psalm 19:1

There Could Never Be a More Beautiful You.

When I see this picture, I see a girl who was lost. A girl who was trying to be someone she wasn't in a world that told her she wasn't good enough. I see someone who was so desperately trying to find out the real her but couldn't because her own thoughts told her, "Try something new. This you sucks." 

All my life, I have struggled with these thoughts. I have changed my appearance so many times and sometimes in a way that is considered to be unhealthy. I was striving for someone to notice me. And when that didn't happen, I would try a new method. Having this negative view on yourself can eat you alive. In the end, it doesn't solve problems, but only creates more. I am so thankful for the thoughts and prayers that have been sent my way over the years for the loved ones who knew how I really thought about myself. 

To be completely honest with you, I believe going through flight attendant training was the first time in years that I gained the slightest bit of confidence in myself. Throughout the entire training, I didn't want to tell a single soul where I was going or what I was doing because I didn't believe in myself enough to think that I could pass. And of course I would have been even more negative about myself if I didn't pass. The moment I received my wings was the moment that I realized I was capable of doing anything I set my mind to. Granted I've had people telling me this all my life, but I never believed it for myself. Becoming a flight attendant was a way to prove to MYSELF that I AM good enough. And that I CAN face my fears. Some may find it odd, but I was actually quite terrified of flying. After going through intense training and learning how safe it really is, my fears began to finally subside. Don't get me wrong, I still pray before every take off and landing while doing my silent review (haha), but I am able to fly without being as terrified of something awful happening. To some, it may have been their "dream job", but to me, it was so much more. Receiving those wings was the proudest moment of my life, even on top of becoming a majorette/eventually majorette captain in high school. This job to me is my confidence builder. It has taught me that I deserve to believe in myself. And I deserve to have the confidence everyone has been telling me I should have for all these years. 

When I see pictures of my newborn niece Eva, I see a world of hope. I see so much innocence in such a little bundle of joy that I can only pray she never has to go through having broken thoughts. I've learned so much from her that I can only pray she can learn from her mom and I one day as well. I pray that she never has her heart broken by a boy, or feel like she is fat compared to her friends, or feel like she isn't good enough. Because when I look at Eva, I see a precious life that is so fragile yet brings so much happiness. Her smile is contagious and I can only pray she keeps that with her for the rest of her life. I want her to grow up having confidence in who she is and learn for herself that she can do absolutely anything she puts her mind to. 

When I look at the picture below, I see a girl who is no longer lost. I see a girl who still has her ups and downs, but finally has more good thoughts than bad. Since the above picture, I have changed my hair back to its natural color as a way to just be me. I have worked out in order to gain confidence in my appearance in a way that is healthy and I have lost 30 pounds in the process of doing so. In the bottom picture, I see a girl who is FINALLY confident in saying, "This is me. Savannah Jane Autry. Just another broken girl who has finally learned to put the pieces back together." 

"Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight, her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight

Well, little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care, your skin, your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies, disguises and hoops, they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

Little girl twenty one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but He's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead

Well, little girl twenty one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And He'll treat you like the jewel you are

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies, disguises and hoops, they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you, more beautiful you

So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late, you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear, they can all be washed away

By the one who's strong, can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry, all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light, He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl

That there could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies, disguises and hoops, they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
There could never be a more beautiful you."

-More Beautiful You by Jonny Diaz

Half a decade.

Half a decade.

Think back to 5 years ago. Who were you and how are you different from that person you used to be? 5 years ago, my life changed dramatically. Coming from a background of not believing in God at all, I'd say I've changed a little since then. 5 years ago on this day, Jesus Christ came into my life. I had never heard the message of the Gospel before that day. I walked through the doors of a ministry called pointB and never knew how much my life was going to change after that one night. The message was speaking directly to me. I didn't know who Jesus was, nor did I believe in any God. At the end of the message, he asked if anyone didn't know Jesus Christ. I raised my hand. A lady came up to me and asked if she could pray with me. She took my hands and prayed over me and that was the first time I had ever felt the Holy Spirit and had my eyes opened that He is real. And more than ever, He wanted a relationship with me. Ever since that day, my life has never been the same.

Year 1. Finding Him.
The first year of my walk with Christ was a year of healing. Learning how to let go of my past mistakes and handing it over to Jesus was one of the biggest challenges. It was a year of healing the broken hearted and letting those wounds that took over so much of my life become a thing of my past. The biggest life lesson that year was I did not have to let my past dictate my future. He has so much more planned for your life, and now 5 years later, I am able to look back and see all of the beautiful works He had in store for me. Never in a million years would I think I would be where I am today. And when you are able to let those wounds of your past be used for His glory, you are able to see why everything happens for a reason. Finding Him in the brokenness makes brokenness a beautiful thing.

Year 2. Finding peace.
Year 2 for me was a year of loss. I had never really lost anyone in my life before. So I had never had to deal with "facing death". This changed...quickly. My senior year, our class lost a dear friend to us all. I still think about him everyday, gym class the Friday before, the conversation we had in English class 3 days before, and the day our entire school was wrecked. We were all in complete shock that something like this was happening...especially to our class. Later on that year, I not only lost a classmate, but I lost my best friend...my grandpa. If you knew our relationship, you would know that he was the closest person to me and he meant the world to me. Some people ask how I am so strong; I sat by his bedside holding his hand when the nurse came to check for a heartbeat. I don't remember much after that because I collapsed and went into total shock. My entire body went numb. But earlier that day, he had given me my graduation card. He had saved up 121 dollars for me. That card still sits by my bedside. I read it often. The card reminds me to follow my dreams always. I miss him every single day, but I was able to find peace knowing that they are at rest with Jesus. I find peace and comfort knowing that He is close to the broken hearted and He had greater plans for them than we could have imagined. I wish so badly that my grandpa could dance at my wedding, but I know that he is dancing with Jesus everyday. When he died, I received a blanket that says,
"Come to a quiet place and rest." -Mark 6:31
This verse has gotten me through the bad days. We will have trials and struggles, but seeking Him through it all will allow us to find peace.

Year 3. Finding me.
Year 3 was probably the craziest of them all. After graduation, I took a year off of school to travel with a ministry called Silver Ring Thing. This year was a year dedicated to finding myself and finding who I am in Christ and all that He has created me to be. It was a year of challenges learning to be on my own away from my parents and family. It was a year of learning about my identity in Christ. The tour theme was "Image is everything." I was able to share my heart on stage through skits and talks. I was able to share my testimony to people all over the country. Host families, the homeless, and students that had been struggling with the same issues I had gone through. I was able to use my broken past in order to give HOPE to those around me. It was the most humbling experience getting to be used by God every single day through conversations. It was a year I was able to learn about myself and learn that I am not defined by my past mistakes. Those mistakes did not have to take hold of my life because I am identified by Christ and I am His daughter. Victory was received with Jesus on that cross.

Year 4. Learning to be content.
This was one of the most challenging years for me when it came to learning to be content. Tour was a dream of mine, so it was easy for me to enjoy every second of it and soak as much in as possible. College on the other hand was a different story. College was my parents dream for my life. While praying whether or not to do another year of touring, a verse and a calling changed that decision completely.
“Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” -Ephesians 6:2-3
God was calling me to honor my parents and their only wish for me was to go to college. So that is exactly what I did. But it wasn't easy. Try living out someone else's dream for your life. It's not that fun, I can promise you. This year was dedicated to learning to be content with where God had me. He led me to Geneva College where I was blessed with incredible friendships that I will never forget. I was blessed with a roommate who would become one of my best friends. I was blessed with bible classes and professors that genuinely loved the LORD. But still, I looked right past all that and complained daily. I hated every part about college because it wasn't MY dream. It wasn't what I had in mind. Slowly, God did incredible works on my heart and by the end of the year was able to restore my joy. I realized that it wasn't about MY plan for MY life, but it was HIS plan and this life wasn't mine to live. It was a year of surrendering it all to Him and saying, "Jesus, have my life."

Year 5. Learning to be used by Him in all circumstances.
After a year at Geneva College, I decided to transfer to a place that would suit me better when it came to my passions and what I had a desire to learn about. I decided to transfer to the Art Institute of Pittsburgh in order to pursue photography. I was in for quite an awakening when within my first 3 classes, all professors had already used the f word on multiple occasions. At Geneva, that would be a 40 dollar fine, please. These professors also shared within the first week that they clearly believed in evolution as well as did NOT believe in God. Needless to say, it was quite different from Geneva College bible classes. But because of this, I realized how many opportunities I was being given to share all that Christ has done for me. Being a commuter, I have learned so much about God's perfect timing and His divine plans. Crazy things like missing my bus, then catching the later bus and getting to share my testimony with someone. Or catching an earlier bus, and helping someone who didn't have enough money for bus fare. Or walking to the bus stop, and having a quick conversation with a homeless person. His plans are always perfect, and the more I think about them, I think more about all that He has done and will continue to do in my life.

If you think that it is too late for you, you are oh so wrong my friend. God has done a miracle in my life and has been there since the very beginning desiring a relationship with me. I was just too blind to see. It's not too late for you. Open your eyes and see all that He has for you. Because His plans for your life are far more greater than you could ever plan for your own.

Thank You Jesus. Here's to half of a decade.

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior." -Hillsong United

Stepping out and stepping up.

As I sit in the back of this place, worship music coming from the stage, and people's hearts on fire for God. His presence is all around me. I watch humbly in amazement that God has called me here tonight. 

Think about that.

God has called you here. 

Wherever you are currently reading this from, He has called you to that exact place for this very moment in time. Embrace it. Embrace every moment. 

I often think how many times God has brought me to a certain place and I've just let it slip past me. It was because I was too focused on letting my fears control me. I let the little voice in my head whisper to me saying, "what if?" And I made the mistake of listening instead of acting. 

What if I would have bought that lady's meal?

What if I talked to that homeless man? 

What if I chose to go to that school and not this one?

What if I was supposed to pray with that one person I work with?

The list goes on and on. 

These thoughts consumed me and I kept falling for letting my own fears hold me back. I wasn't willing to step out of my own comfort zone and step up to act upon it. 

It's time for us to quit letting our fears consume us and embrace every moment and every situation that God has blessed us with in the here and now. No more what ifs. 

Earlier, as I worshipped God, I heard a voice saying "Worship Me with ALL that is within You." 

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first. As has just been said: Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion." -Hebrews 3:13-15

Dang. If only you knew what my flesh was battling within that moment. The former me would have heard that voice and ignored it completely to just stand there. It took me years to step out of my comfort zone and raise my hand in worship. I used to think people would judge me or someone who doesn't know the meaning behind the act would look at me and think, "What is she doing?" I wasn't willing to step up and show them that: this is what worshipping Jesus looks like. 

But tonight, hearing that voice, I was able to fall on my knees and worship Him. I was able to step out of my former comfort zone from years ago that would have kept me from seeking Him completely. I was able to step up... and if other were watching me? AWESOME. I pray that they themselves would learn the meaning behind it and that our church would be able to show them that: THIS is how you worship with all that is within you. Fall and surrender it all at His feet. 

So tonight, I challenge you to step UP and step OUT of your comfort zone. You will be amazed at the places He will take you.