Restless.

I'm tired. I'm tired of focusing on myself and not looking to the One who matters. This is my confession. I complain so much about college and how much I hate it. I lose focus on remembering that GOD HAS ME HERE FOR A PURPOSE. I'm restless trying to search for peace in my life. I'm restless because He is wanting me to lay it all at the cross...but for some reason, I haven't been able to yet. My prayer is that I am able to lay everything aside, forget about my selfishness, and remember that it isn't my life or MY desires. I am here for a reason and I keep forgetting that. On tour, it was so easy for me to see God at work. In between meals with the homeless and shows seeing thousands of kids give their lives to Christ, I was able to see God work...and I could see it so clearly. Then, I went to college. Not just any college, but a Bible college. Here, it has been so much more difficult for me to clearly see God at work and moving. But that's because I have had blinders on. I've been for focused on comparing everything about college to tour life, that I haven't been able to see God at work. Then I remembered this. God doesn't move; you do. While God has never left and never stopped working, I've been too blinded by my own personal desires, I haven't been able to see the bigger picture. The picture that God has me here. Instead of responding to people when they ask, "How's college?" I'm going to work on saying, "It is exactly where God has called me." I pray that I am able to lay everything down at the cross. Here I am LORD, Your will, NOT MINE.

Jesus, I am sorry from the bottom of my heart for letting my personal desires get in the way of what You have for me. Take me, I'm Yours. Forever<3 div="div">

Mixed Emotions.

Well, the day I never thought would be here is less than 4 days away. That's right...no one ever thought they'd see the day Savannah goes to college. I have so many mixed emotions that I want to share. So here it goes.

I'm scared.
Going to a new place with new people scares me. It's normal. I was so scared when I first went on the road with Silver Ring Thing because I didn't know what to expect. Same thing. I don't know what to expect...and I'm super scared in making new friends. I've never felt like I've fit in anywhere...so I'm nervous that I will feel like I won't belong.

I'm excited.
I'm excited to decorate my dorm room. I'm excited to live on my own and staying in one place. I'm excited to learn more about the Bible and ministry. I'm excited to explore and go on new adventures. I'm excited to room with Christine. I'm excited to see how God uses me and where He is going to lead me.

I'm not excited.
I'm not excited to do homework and to take tests. I'm not excited to read and do school work. I'm not excited to go to college. I'm not excited to live in the dorms or to even live on campus. I'm not excited to leave home yet and for summer to be over. I'm not excited that tour is over.

As you can see, the negatives are definitely stronger than the positives. But I hope I will learn to like it. All I know is I am confident in knowing God is in this and He is going to see that I am honoring my parents and going to college. All I can hope for is to hear those words one day...Well done my good and faithful servant. God, I am trusting in You. Thank You Jesus for giving me strength.

Wanted.

Wanted. Beautiful. Loved. Treasured. Precious. Kind. Important. Missed. Valued. This is a list of words that have been running through my mind lately. Words that you long to hear from someone. Anyone. Looking back at my prior unhealthy relationships, I realize how much I turned to guys to tell me some of those things. Only wanting confidence and to feel important. Girls long to just feel wanted. We want to hear we are beautiful. It's beautiful to us to hear someone loves us. We love to feel treasured and adored by someone. It's a treasure to us when someone tells us we are precious. When we hear we are precious, we choose to be kind. When we are kind, we feel important since others seem to enjoy our presence. We don't feel important until we hear we are missed. When we are missed, we feel valued. You get my point. All of them go hand in hand and feed off of each other. Of course, let's get down to who. Yeah, some hear that stuff from their parents everyday. But it's not the same as having the guys say it to you. Comment on your pictures on Facebook saying you're pretty. Wanting to see how many people you can get to like it. We all do it.
Well this led me to thinking about how much we already have all of these characteristics. We don't need anyone to tell us. Tonight in worship, we sang a song that just hit home for me.


When I lose my way,
And I forget my name,
Remind me who I am.
In the mirror all I see,
Is who I don't wanna be,
Remind me who I am.
In the loneliest places,
When I can't remember what grace is.

Tell me once again who I am to You,
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You.
To You.

When my heart is like a stone,
And I'm running far from home,
Remind me who I am.
When I can't receive Your love,
Afraid I'll never be enough,
Remind me who I am.
If I'm Your beloved,
Can You help me believe it.

Tell me once again who I am to You,
Who I am to You, whoa.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You.
That I belong to You.
To You.

I'm the one you love,
I'm the one you love,
That will be enough,
I'm the one you love.

Tell me once again who I am to You.
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You, oh.

Tell me once again who I am to You.
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You.
To You.


God sees you as so much more than what you see yourself or how others see you. You have to believe it for yourself before you let anyone else tell you. You are so much more in His eyes than what man has to offer. Sure we love hearing those comments, but have confidence in yourself knowing that God already sees you as all of those things. And when it feels like its never enough, remember of the love He has for you. Sending His one and only Son to die on the cross for you. That is the ultimate sacrifice. More than any man has to offer. That is the ultimate love. So turn to Jesus today as you look in the mirror. Your beauty comes from God and God alone.

But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." -1 Samuel 16:7.

A letter to Heaven.

Hi Pappy. I decided to write you a letter every year... I wrote you a letter and put it in your casket, so I figured I'd keep writing to you. I can't believe you've been gone a year. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and miss you. They say it gets easier, but that doesn't seem to be true. Every time I would come home from tour and walk down the driveway, I would sit in your chair and do a word search like I used to do sitting on your lap when I was little. When I would go back home, I secretly cry every time. I try so hard to be strong for daddy and Grammy, but sometimes I can't. I try and numb myself to the pain and not think about it. Because anytime I do, I break down. I wish you could be here especially now that I'm home. I hope I made you proud on tour. I know you are watching over me. Grammy still cries often. I pray one day God blesses me with a marriage like you two had. 57 years later and you two still loved each other. So much has happened this year and so often, I would want to pick up the phone and call you to tell you about it. When I would call gram, she would sound so excited to talk to me. I still listen to a recording of your voice telling me I'm the bestest baby in the world. A year later and things still aren't normal without you. We all miss you pappy. I love you with all my heart and I miss you more than ever...I'm still not ready to let go of you. Continue to watch over us. You will always be my best friend. I love and miss you pappy.

Love always,
Boots/Punchin' Judy Cookin' Dinner

Define normal.

Normal. According to the dictionary, the word normal is defined as: conforming to the standard or common type; usual; regular; natural. To me, normal means doing what society tells you.

Ever watch the movie 101 Dalmatians when you were younger? Remember that one dalmatian that didn't get spots right away? I'm pretty sure its name was Oddball. Yeah, well that was always me. I always had to do something different than everyone else. My family is your typical American family. Mom, dad, sister, dog, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. My sister is getting married in October to a great guy whom I love to death who has a "big boy" haircut, as my dad would say, and has a job to support a family. Then there's me. I dig guys that have long hair, skinny jeans, tattoos, and most importantly, love Jesus. If they are completely broke and say, "I'm trusting God," that's my type of guy.  My family is very normal. Normal clothes, normal hair, normal everything. Me on the other hand? I like skinny jeans, crazy colored clothing, tattoos, piercings, dying my hair every color there is, crazy patterns, and adventuring on rooftops. For my family, that's not normal. I was blessed to be raised by great parents who taught me right from wrong, but I was never blessed by a solid Christian household. My family thankfully supports me in all that I do (most of the time), but when it comes to church stuff, we were what I would like to call "Chreasters." We would only attend church on Christmas and Easter. When I got saved, I got my parents to go to church with me and I found my home church Crossroads. When I felt a calling for ministry and decided to hop on the road for a year, that wasn't normal...which is where some conflict came into play. It was normal to go to graduate high school. It was also normal to go straight to college. Not for me. I've always hated doing the "normal" thing. So, I chose to travel the country for 9 months presenting the Gospel with 12 other AWESOME brothers and sisters in Christ. Let me tell you something...when you finally say, "Here I am LORD, send me." He will bless you for your step of obedience.

Coming off of tour has been a huge life transition. Because I don't come from the background of a Christian home, life on the road was a huge blessing. I gained 12 brothers and sisters in Christ that became my new family. A new family that I could go to for prayer requests, that I could walk the streets with sharing the Gospel, that I could take the homeless out to eat, that I could gain Godly advice from. Coming back home, it has been hard to adjust. Not having anyone to turn to to gain Biblical advice from, not praying before family meals, not doing devotionals and quiet time together, not keeping each other accountable.

Now here is the point I am trying to get at. While writing all of this, I realized this. YOU define your own normal. Make it normal for your family to pray before meals. Make it normal to read the Bible together. Make it normal to take homeless out to eat no matter how unsafe your parents think it is. Make it normal to follow God's will. Next year, I will be doing society's "normal" and going to college. And trust me. It has been a struggle for me to accept that I am doing society's "normal." I am not going to give in to what everyone tells me, but I am obeying what the Bible says and the Bible says to honor your parents. My parents have supported me in everything...tour was a struggle for them, but they made a compromise with me that if I took a year off, I had to go to college the following year...college was my parents dream for me. So here I am, left saying, LORD, send me. Still confused on where He is sending me, but I am trusting. Trusting that God will do great things. All you gotta do is let God be your new normal.

The sky is the limit.

Well, tour officially ended. But you would never know that, because 2 days later, I decided to take an 11 day road trip to end up in Houston, TX. Jack, Chelsea, and I left Pittsburgh on the 25th. We stopped in Savannah, GA, Huntsville, AL, New Orleans/Lutcher, LA, Houston, TX, College Station, TX, and Marble Falls, TX. We got the opportunity to check out some awesome churches and meet some awesome people. We were in church in Savannah, GA and I just kind of took a second to look back and reflect on my life. I was in Savannah, GA. I got the opportunity to travel the entire country as well as the island of Barbados. How many people get that opportunity? At that moment, I was so humbled. God has blessed me so much and all I do is fail Him constantly. Sometimes you get into this phase where you are just going through the motions. I'm sick of it. He has blessed us immensely and all we do is continue to live for ourselves. It's time for change.

Another humbling moment was when we were in Lutcher. First off, I remember staying there the first time on tour and how great the people were. We stayed with a host family that blew my mind. Their house was incredible and they were all around phenomenal. Our host dad talked to us in the morning and just encouraged us. He was so sweet and kind and shared stories of how God was working in His life. He decided he wanted to bless us by giving us money to go to lunch. When we got to lunch, we met a lady who was deaf. From friends who have deaf parents and friends that love sign language, I knew enough to be able to do small talk with her. We asked if she was hungry. She said she was but she didn't have time. We then asked if she wanted something to go. We ordered her food and she said she would be right back. A guy at the table behind us asked if she was coming back. We said yes, she just had to go outside. About ten minutes passed and she came back in and got her food and thanked us. The waitress came up to us and said, "I just wanted to let you know all of your tickets including hers were taken care of by the gentleman behind you." when we looked behind us, he was gone. He saw us trying to minister and bless someone, so instead, he blessed us. We were all taken back for a second at what just happened. God will bless you for your actions. The point of this story is this. When I thought tour ended, I kinda was not ready to stop being used. When this happened, I realized just because I'm not on tour with a ministry and will not get the opportunity to minister daily doesn't mean I can't be used in "the real world." God will continue to give opportunities, even ones I do not deserve. Like tomorrow for example. Tomorrow, God decided to work out perfect timing. Chelsea is good friends with a member of Tenth Avenue North's wife. We are going to be in Nashville at the exact time that Tenth Avenue North will be filming their new music video for their song Losing. They are trying to get us in the video. What the heck?! How cool is that? Like I said, He will bless you...when you don't deserve any of it. Be humble to be His servant. Appreciate everything and never take any of it for granted. Make the most of every opportunity.

The devil will tempt you but fight the good fight. And when you fight the good fight, you will be blessed for it. Our reward in Heaven is so much greater than anything on this planet. When you say here I am Lord, send me. He will send you to places you could never imagine. Let your attitude be focused on Christ and Christ alone. Let Him use your hands and feet and He will bless you for it. With Christ, the sky is the limit.

Broken pieces.

Hiding. I used to hide behind my mom when I was little because I was too shy. Or hide behind a door playing hide and go seek with my older sister. When I got older, I was hiding something much bigger. I was hiding my broken heart behind my smile. My past involves depression that occasionally comes back to haunt me at the most random moments. I can be having the time of my life and one second later, I feel like my world is crashing down. I would fake a smile everyday so no one would question me or my thoughts. Behind that smile was a broken girl who felt lost in the world and felt worthless, unwanted, and shattered. I always felt like I was trying to be someone completely different and that no one wanted me around. I always felt like the outcast and that no one would even notice if I was gone. These thoughts would take over and control my life. When I got saved, I thought my life would be so much easier. Let me tell you, it's not a walk in the park. Some days, the devil will take hold and try and tear you apart...DON'T LET HIM TAKE OVER. When you feel so alone in this world, turn to Jesus...He will never leave you or forsake you. I am still that same broken girl, but here is the difference. I now have hope. Hope in knowing He is God. King of all Kings. Turn to Jesus. He is willing to take those broken pieces of your heart and mend them back together. Cling to the truth of knowing that He is mighty and just. For He makes all things new. "That however is not the way of the life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." -Ephesians 4:20-24

Battlefield...

We often discuss on the team how we are on the frontline of the spiritual battlefield. Which is so true. Everyday, we get faced with plenty of spiritual attacks. From the simplest thing like a table breaking, to our health, to exhaustion, or injury. Occasionally, our vehicle likes to fail us. But no matter what, God always gets us through it.

We are currently in Baltimore and I decided to go down to the lobby this morning to have my quiet time. While I was sitting in the lobby, about 50 U.S. Air Force Soldiers came into the lobby just getting back from overseas. I saw one of them walk over to get a cup of coffee. Feeling a tug on my heart, I went over and asked if I could pay for his drink and thanked him for his service. Having a mother who retired in the Air Force and a sister who is currently in the Air Force, it brings tears to my eyes anytime I even see a soldier. I'm SO thankful and SO blessed that they never had to get deployed. I can't imagine having a loved one fight in the ACTUAL frontline of a real battlefield. Our little battles everyday do not compare to standing on the frontline of the battlefield. So this one is for all the Military out there. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your service! 


You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others. Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. -2 Timothy 2:1-3.

The next chapter...

2 weeks and 1 day. 15 days. 360 hours. 21, 600 minutes. That is how much time we have left on tour. Together as a family. It's mind blowing to me to think that I have been on the road for 8 months already. As tour winds down, emotions are running high. For me personally, God has given me confirmation and peace knowing that I am not meant to be on tour for next year. The difficulty of it is...I don't have peace yet about this tour being over. You learn to have the mindset, "We have 9 months on tour. 9 months is so far away!" That mindset is slowly changed when you realize it's May and tour ends May 23rd. When the team finishes our last show on May 23rd, that is it. When people hop on their planes, that is goodbye. We will never be together as a family again. Living with 13 people, they are your family. Think of it like this. A typical family. A mom, a dad, and a few kids. A family. They are together from birth and normally leave to go to college around the age of 18. But still, even when leaving, most will come home for at least the holidays to have that normal family meal. Not us. When we separate, we will never be together like this again. Even if there was a possibility for a reunion, 95% of my guess is that at least one person will not be able to come due to travel, jobs, or new families/lives. Finding peace in moving on is extremely difficult. We are all so excited for what is next, but at the same time, we don't want this to be over. It is going to be a culture shock when we get back into the real world and realize we have a normal schedule. Realizing we have to set our alarm for one time everyday. Realizing we have time on our hands to just sit on the couch. 

As tour ends, we realize it is God flipping to the next page and beginning writing the next chapter. We are learning that our lives are a book, and it is not finished yet. Every book has multiple chapters. If it only had one, no one would read it. Our tour chapter is slowly finishing and it is coming to its final pages. Just because this chapter is over doesn't mean the book is finished. God is going to slowly begin writing the next chapter and slowly give you peace knowing the last chapter has ended. You will always have those memories and be able to flip back and reread it, but you can't go back and rewrite it. 

As some of you are graduating high school and so excited for the next chapter in life such as college, when you get to graduation day, your emotions will be just as crazy as mine right now. But know this. God is planning your next chapter and you don't have to be upset that this chapter is ending. Find peace in Him. I am going to college next year and I realize I have so much to be thankful for that this chapter even was written. No matter what happens in your or where life leads you, always find peace in knowing that He is God. Your book is still being written. And let your life be a ministry. Because you may be the only Bible that somebody reads.

From Strangers to Family.

Something about tour is there is nothing quite like it. It's one of those things that you have to experience to understand. We find ourselves often saying when we are home, "It's a tour thing. You wouldn't understand."

A fact that most don't really think about is the fact we were 13 complete strangers being put on a tour bus to live with each other for 9 months. We eat, sleep, work, and live together. When we put on shows, we are together. When we go to host homes or hotels, we stay together. When in cities, we do the buddy system and are with each other. When we eat, we're together. When we get on this bus, we're together. 24 hours of the day, we are with each other. 13 complete strangers. We see each other more than a married couple sees each other. Within the first week, your friendships are put on fast forward. You learn to make friends within a few hours of knowing them. 13 different personalities, 13 backgrounds, 13 testimonies, 13 leaders. All coming together for one purpose. All possible for one reason...God. If this tour bus did not have God at the center, we would all hate each other. I would never hang out with some of these people in the "real world." It's awesome that we all get along so well and the lifelong friendships that we have made in the past 8 months on tour. Everyone's personalities are so different and each individual brings their own characteristics to our team. We go from being complete strangers to a family. Our own dysfunctional family of 13. Brothers and sisters in Christ. So...let's take this time to meet my family, shall we?

Danielle: Otherwise known as Dani, or Mom. Dani is our female leader. She is an incredible woman of God. Sometimes, we all like to fight with her...who doesn't fight with their mom occasionally? It's just a little bit different of an argument. Such as, "Retape these wires. Volunteer meeting at 4:30. Why aren't these done yet?" All in all, she does it to challenge us. To make us better in the end. She is so precious and is the cutest bus driver in the country:] She is also engaged to Kyle, which I will talk about a little later in this blog.

Paco: Paco is our tour leader. I like to call him Payco. Paco definitely knows how to challenge us. He pushes us to give 110%. He makes us strive for perfection in every aspect of our lives. His wisdom and knowledge help keep us challenged spiritually as well. There are often times where I overhear conversations between him and others with people coming to him asking questions about the Bible. He can easily lead you straight to a Bible verse and explain in detail what it means. 

Mason: Mason is by far one of the funniest guys I have ever met in my life. Our thing is I will call out, "MASANNN!" and I can expect a response of, "SAVANNN!" If Masan has a bad day, we all have a bad day. He brings joy to our hearts. His testimony is incredible and it has been a blessing for me personally to see how God has been working in his life. We always like to joke that he is the crazy Mexican.

Mary Scott: Nickname...MSG. Mary Scott is one of my best friends and will be for years to come. When we first came on the road, we briefly knew each other from the past and because of our COMPLETELY different personalities, we were expecting not to get along on tour. Both of us prayed a ton before coming on tour that we would get along. Within the very first week, we discovered we were gonna be roommates on tour. Within the first week, we were best friends. Our different personalities balance each other out. She brings out the crazy in me and I help her calm it down some. To see how God has worked in our friendship has been incredible and I know I can come to her with anything. Sometimes we want to kill each other, but that is what is so great about our friendship. 

Kristen: Otherwise known as Kristan due to a typing error at the beginning of the year. Also known as Big Red considering she is 6 foot 1 and red hair. Kristan is such a sweetheart and can fall asleep anywhere. She can fall asleep in a Starbucks, but goes for a run at 3 in the morning. At this point, we find it comical. She is so outgoing and so genuine that I just love her presence in the room. She is great. I'm so thankful she is from my same hometown so we can hang out when tour is over.

Ronnie: We like to call him, Rajay Smoothie...we are still trying to decide how you spell that. Ronnie is your typical guy with dreads. He spends way too much time on the phone. Half the time, we wonder who is willing to listen to him for that long on the other end. Since most of us have found a newer way of communication called texting, we find it fascinating how one can talk on the phone so much. It's also strange because he is one of the quietest on the team. Ronnie would do anything for me and I greatly appreciate the friendship that we have built. We have our own friendship handshake that we created the first week of tour. 

Parker: Our little Sparky. She is my seat partner. She knows how to be honest with you. The first week of tour, I could see a growth in her already. It has been great to see how God has been stretching her and taking her out of her normal routine to come on the road with 12 other VERY different personalities. I can definitely say there is no one quite like Sparky:]

Mackenzie: Mary Scott gave her the nickname of Mac B at silverringthing dot net. I gave her the nickname of Junie B as in the famous childhood book series Junie B Jones. She was the newbie on the road. Mackenzie joined us in January and became an addition to our hotel room:] She enjoys bringing her life with her into every hotel room and is definitely the pickiest eater I know. She is your typical blonde, but I love her dearly. She actually got saved at a Silver Ring Thing show. I love seeing her happiness and to see how much she wants to learn. We got her a baby Bible for her birthday and she absolutely loves it. She always wants to learn more and be fed constantly with knowledge.

Jack: Jackie is my other best friend on tour. He is my brother in Christ and my adventure partner. You can always count on him to find the best local food spots, best things to do in a small city, and carries the best conversations. We joke he needs to work with the FBI because he is great with interrogating people. I can go to him for absolutely anything and always count on great Godly advice. If he wasn’t on tour, I don’t know what I would do in cities! He reminds me so much of my best friends at home, so it is awesome hanging out with him. I always feel like I’m at home going on adventures with my bros. He is an incredible man of God and is going to continue doing great things for the Kingdom. 

Aaron: MSG gave him the nickname of Arab Tax Money Records. He used to be our accountant in our office but joined us on the road in January as well. Aaron is very quiet but can be super funny. And he is definitely a prankster. Before he came on tour, he decided to play a prank on the team and put tuna in our heater and air conditioner. We could not understand why our bus smelled like cat food! He has been so much fun getting to know and I enjoy our truck rides. I also enjoy torturing him by occasionally playing screamo music:] We often joke he is 30. He tried to get away with no one finding out about his birthday, but WE STILL GOTCHA. And Aaron, we know...you’re only 29.

Leslie: I had the blessing of having Leslie come live with me last year when I was a host home. She is so kind hearted and cares about everyone but herself. She is always willing to help me due to the fact I have no sense of fashion. She tries to help me look cute:] She went to school for fashion and that girl can pull off wearing anything. I love her so much, and she was one of the reasons why I decided I wanted to come on the road. She was my biggest role model last year. I knew we would be best friends when she said she had a tattoo of a bow on her toe because it rhymed.

Kyle: I have known Kyle for 3 years now. He has grown up so much since the first time we met. He is a big goofball and such a kind spirit. He sets such a huge example for what a Godly relationship should look like. Like I said, Kyle is engaged to Danielle. The two of them are incredible and we appreciate their relationship so much. They don’t hold hands, they don’t sit next to each other on the bus, they don’t kiss. Tell me what engaged couple you know that is that incredible. They chose to be best friends instead of a “typical couple.” It sometimes catches us off guard when we hear them say I love you. We forget they are getting married! I look up to them so much and love seeing how God is working in their lives. They also met on tour! How cool is that?!

Then, there’s me. Facts about me. Let’s see. My nicknames on the team are Sayvanay, Savy, and Savan. Paco always jokes I have been around Silver Ring Thing longer than he has. I was a host home for 2 years before coming on tour. Tour became my dream. I knew so badly that when I graduated, I wanted to come on the road. Now that it’s almost done, I honestly have no idea what my next dream is. This year has been such a blessing for me to use my passion for photography to work for a ministry like Silver Ring Thing. On the team, I am known for all of my t-shirts. I collect t-shirts from every city or state that we go to. I have about 75 t-shirts. At the end of tour, my mom is making me a t-shirt quilt. Oh, I also twirl fire and knives. And love bowling. That’s about it for me.

So, if you’ve gotten this far reading, you have officially met my family. We are 13 normal people with normal flaws living this life together on the same path...the path that God called us to. God placed each and every one of us together for a specific reason. So we can be one family, one body of Christ, all working together serving one God.

To Whom It May Concern...

If you are reading this, I may or may not know you. Depends how you got to this page. If it was through my Facebook, you probably know me. If it was through Silver Ring Thing's Facebook, I most likely do not know you very well considering there are 21,000 possible candidates for reading this blog. Either way, know this. I'm praying for you. Isn't that cool to think about? People you haven't even met yet are praying for you. If you have attended one of our shows, we've been praying for you long before you even thought about coming to our show. If you are planning to come to a show, we are praying for you. If you are reading this, God placed you on this specific page for a reason. I may not even know what the reason is, but isn't it crazy to think about? People all over the world are praying for you right now. Praying for you to stand firm. Praying for whatever situation you are going through. Praying that if you made a decision to wait until marriage, no temptation will overcome you and your faith. Praying that you will stay strong in your faith no matter how young or old you are. 

I think about it often and I find it crazy to think of how many people in this world pray for us, the tour team. Hosts from every show are praying for this ministry. People we have met in Barbados tell us often they are praying for us. Prayers from host families, our office staff, parents, friends, churches, and even students. If you have been praying for us, THANK YOU. We really do appreciate it and we will never take it for granted. 

I also think about my future. All of the people I am going to be blessed with meeting. Even to my future husband. I have not a clue who or where you are, but I have been praying for you. And I know that God has an incredible plan. I am going to college next year and I continue to pray for peace. Peace about the next step in life, but also peace with knowing God has life long friendships planned for me waiting for me there. My calling for Silver Ring Thing is not over yet, but it is just on pause. My prayer is that God will place me in people's lives and use me to speak to the broken and those who need it most. 

My prayer for you today is that you realize how loved you truly are. No matter what you are going through currently, big or small, nothing is too big for God. He is there for you and has you reading this blog. He also has me currently praying for you. I may not even know your name, but know that I love you and I am praying for you. Praying that God gets you through whatever you may be struggling with. 

I bet you didn't know
Long before the show
Late sometime last year we were thinking of you
We just wanted you to hear
And so
Listen up we'll make it clear
So there's no misdirection
We had you in our hearts before you knew us
Long before we were in your ears
We were...

...Praying for the crowd...

Here is the song we wrote about you
Here is the song that you can sing-along to
Up until you now you've only listened
So keep listenin and start singin'

I know
You've heard it all before
But you must admit there's something different
Something more than just a toe to the floor
Clap your hands and sing along
If your dancing keep on dancing
If standing still and holding on
Give yourself the chance to let go
And make it more

...Praying with the crowd...

Here is the song we wrote about you
Here is the song that you can sing-along to
Up until you now you've only listened
So keep listenin and start singin'
Here is the song we wrote about you
Here is the song that you can sing-along to
Up until you now you've only listened
So keep listenin and start singin'

So the curtains close
And you're heading home
And you're on your own
So we hope you know that we're thinking of you...

Here is the song we wrote about you
Here is the song that you can sing-along to
Up until you now you've only listened
So keep listenin and start singin'
Here is the song we wrote about you
Here is the song that you can sing-along to
Up until you now you've only listened
So keep listenin and start singin'

-lyrics from The Forward by Between the Trees

Open your eyes...

Today, I wasn't feeling myself. I was letting the small things get to me and I was getting depressed for no reason at all. It's okay to have off days. It's just not okay to not look to Him for comfort. I decided to do a few pages in a Bible study book called Stuck that Mary Scott and I have been doing. The page that I opened to said to read Romans 12:9-21. God knew exactly what I needed to hear. 

⁹ Love must be sincere Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.¹¹ Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. ¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.¹³ Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

¹⁷ Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹ Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. ²⁰ On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;

    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

If you ever have doubt that God is there, open your eyes. Listen. Seek. Pray. Ask for His help and He will reveal Himself. Be obedient. 

Because of some things of my past, I struggle with jealousy. I always look down on myself and think that I'm not good enough. So, when I feel left out, I let it take over my life. Satan can be so deceiving and bring out the worst in you. Don't let him get a chokehold on you. Lay everything down at the foot of the cross. God is willing. God is able. Let go. Give it to God. Whatever it may be, big or small, God will be there to help you through. So if you ever feel stuck or when you feel God isn't there to help, He is. He never leaves you. He will speak to You; all you have to do is listen. He will show Himself to You; all you have to do is open your eyes.

No one said it'd be easy...

Some people think that because we are Christians, we have this perfect life. Wrong. Being a Christian has been by far the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. Sin is surrounding us everyday. Temptation is high at every hour. The difference is...we say no. No to what society is telling us. No to living in the moment and living for tomorrow. No to the pressure. No to the media. I believe in Jesus Christ as my LORD and Savior. He died on a cross to take OUR punishment. Our God is so powerful. Think about how big the world is. He has a personal relationship with each and every one of us. And if He doesn't with you, He wants to. So let Him into your life and you will be forever changed. No one said it'd be easy. It's gonna be hard. It's gonna have many trials. We're human. Something I strive for is to constantly be a better person. Stop swearing, it just makes you look bad. Stop having sex, respect yourself. Stop drinking and getting drunk, it just makes you look stupid to others. Stop smoking, it's unattractive. I mean, some of these things aren't always viewed as "bad" in the Bible, but it's just something that I personally think looks bad. If you are preaching the Gospel while drunk, that's like a slap in the face to God. He gave up His Son on the cross to die. Can you imagine? You try sending your one and only son to die. It's not an easy life to live, but your reward will be so much greater than anything this world has to offer. Something my parents always argue about with me wanting tattoos is it is a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling. That same saying can go for a lot of things. You have sex, you are at risk for getting a kid or an STD. A permanent reminder of a temporary feeling. If you get drink and drive, you are at risk for killing someone. A permanent reminder of a temporary feeling. It's not worth it. There is a God who wants all of you. There is a God who has a much greater reward for you. That reward is eternal life. So go out and praise Him today.

Letting God.

Lately, I've been learning a ton about trust. Trust is something that I have been working on for years and I feel can always have growth no matter what the situation. Trusting in God is one of the most difficult things at times. As tour slowly comes to an end, trust has been mentioned a lot recently. Trusting in knowing God has a perfect plan for all of us. Trusting He has control over everything. Living on the same bus with each other for 9 months, the 13 of us have become one big family. I have 12 amazing brothers and sisters in Christ and I would take a bullet for each and every person. We see each other more than a married couple sees each other. We are with each other 24-7...literally. So realizing that tour is slowly coming to an end, it creates a knot in my stomach. Knowing that even if we had a reunion one day, which would be a miracle if everyone's schedules could allow all 13 of us to come, it will never look like THIS again. Some are going to be married, some will be in college, some will be still on tour with a new bunch, but it will NEVER be like this again. Another thing that is going to be so odd coming off of the road is coming to a complete halt. We go from going going going to a complete stop. We got a glimpse of this over Thanksgiving/Christmas break and a small glimpse during Easter. When you are in a different city every night, staying in one place can become the most difficult thing. We go from having a crazy schedule seeing lives being changed every second, to sitting at home, on our couch, watching tv. Some youth groups struggle to even get 20 people to their events. For us, a small show is 300 people. How crazy is that? We see on average 100 kids come to Christ each event. Some people, they are thrilled to even get 1 kid to come to Christ, and it's over a period of months...of praying for them, begging them to come, and getting rejected almost every time. [trust me, I know...I just got out of high school]. We have been so crazy blessed on the road, I cannot even begin to describe. When we go home, most of us will officially be entering what you would call "the real world." After coming from such an exciting year, we all have been learning to trust Him through all of it. Trusting that God is in control and will help us make that huge transition. Another thing that I have been learning is placing everything at His feet and letting God have complete control...which goes hand in hand with the trust thing. Something I have always struggled with is jealousy. I've always looked down on myself and thought the worst. So I would long to get the attention. Back at home, my solid group of Christian friends were ALL guys. It was completely normal for me to be at Bible study with 9 guys and be the only girl. So, whenever one of my friends would get a girlfriend, jealousy could easily set in. I was the only girl in the group and I liked it that way. I felt I was never good enough. I felt that if I didn't get invited somewhere, I wasn't cared for. Obviously, this wasn't true at all. Those dudes are incredible people and would never do something if they knew I felt that way. Jealousy was always a weakness that Satan used to his full advantage and still does occasionally. I have always been very protective of my friends and always felt I would be replaced. So when I didnt get the attention needed, I would have such a hard time with it. The same goes for now, except I'm learning now. I'm learning to lay everything at His feet and realizing that He cares for me. Learning that God is in control of everything. Every emotion, every feeling, every situation, every circumstance. God is in control.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7.

So...I will finish with the famous quote...Let go and Let God.

Giving.

Last night, a few of us were hanging out and talking about stories. Stories of what we have done that was nice or what others did for us that blessed us. The others had so many never ending stories of cute things boyfriends or girlfriends did for them or how someone has blessed them. I realized...I didn’t have very many stories of how people have blessed me besides my family. I started getting a little jealous...then I realized, that’s not what it’s about. I enjoyed telling stories about how I was able to bless someone else. I love giving. That is one of my favorite things. I love surprising people with random acts of kindness. Paco recently got handed a brand new free Macbook. How crazy is that? His host mom woke him up in the morning and said that God was telling her to give it to him. She just bought it last week. I want to have that type of servant heart. I want to be obedient when the LORD says, give Me EVERYTHING. It’s not about how much it is whatever you are giving away. It’s about the act of being obedient to what He is calling you to do. And trust me...that person’s reaction will be worth it in the end.

On tour, I like to collect t-shirts, stickers, and post cards from all of the places we go. Earlier this year, Ronnie came up to me and asked if I had found a postcard yet from that city. He bought me about 4 of them because he said he knew I couldn’t find any. A simple postcard was enough to bless me and was one of the nicest things anyone has done for me. Another way someone blessed me was at Christmas. I received all my gifts from family only except for one. Alina brought me a book that was one of her favorites. And she wrote a really nice note in it for me. That blessed me. I was always the person giving and never had experienced someone giving to me. I was in awe. And so thankful. At the last show, a lady came up to Jack and said she remembered him from last year. She said at last year’s show, she was having a horrible day. Jack being Jack came off the bus and greeted her with a hug. A year later, she came up to him and told him how much he had blessed her that day. A simple hug was all this lady needed. And Jack obviously had a lasting impact that she remembered a year later. Random acts of kindness can go a long ways. Sometimes, some people will not show their appreciation...but know that your actions will have a reward. A reward greater than anything in this world. Jesus is the best reward anyone can receive. On that note, I challenge you to go out and bless someone today.

I give my life again, every breath I have
For you are my reward
Jesus, take my life, a sacrifice
All I have is yours, all I have is yours


You are my reward, all I'm living for
I surrender all my life to you
All consuming Fire, you are my desire
No one else but you, I surrender all my life to you
All to you, my Jesus


Jesus, here I am with open hands
lifted high to you
could my heart contain all your love for me?
You're all I need to know, You're all I need to know


You are my reward, all I'm living for
I surrender all my life to you
All consuming Fire, you are my desire
No one else but you, I surrender all my life to you
All to you, my Jesus

Oh, nothing compares to knowing you
nothing compares to loving you
I'm giving my life to follow you, my King (3x)


You are my reward, all I'm living for
I surrender all my life to you
All consuming Fire, you are my desire
No one else but you, I surrender all
'Cause You are my reward, all I'm living for
I surrender all my life to you
All consuming Fire, you are my desire
No one else but you, I surrender all my life to you
All to you, my Jesus
All to you, my king
All to you

-Kristian Stanfill

A typical day in the life.

For most of you know, after graduation, I gave up a year of my life to travel the country for 9 months with a ministry called Silver Ring Thing. Silver Ring Thing is a nonprofit organization that puts on a 2 hour multimedia event that consists of lasers, lighting, videos, skits, testimonies, and loud music. The message given is a message of abstinence until marriage centered in a relationship with Jesus Christ. I just wanna share some of what my life looks like daily.

We have 3 types of days. A non travel day, travel day, or show day. Let me describe them for you.

1. Non-travel day: a non travel day is basically a dream come true...considering we don't get very many of them. This usually consists of some adventuring in the city that we are in. Which basically means sight-seeing, finding the local coffee shops, and urban spooning it for cool restaurants and good food. If we are in super small towns, we will enjoy our hotel room and stay there all day, watch movies, relax, and most importantly, sleep.

2. Travel day: a travel day means we travel. derrrrr. What this day looks like to an outsider is spending hours on end in our lovely "tour bus", which is a modified shuttle bus. It's not luxury, but it gets the job done...and we are thankful for it! Our green machine has become our "home." Our hours on the bus are usually spent by some Bible reading, movie watching, facebook stalking, and catching up on our sleep. Also, the nondrivers have to rotate riding in our truck. Our truck is what carries all of our equipment. The truck requires a CDL license so only a few can actually drive. My time in the truck is usually spent having a 1 on 1 conversation with the driver which can last between 5 minutes or 5 hours. After talking, out comes the ipod. It's cool to ride with different drivers to see what their taste in music is like.

3. SHOW DAY: A show day is our work day. A typical show day means we get to the venue around noon and have lunch. After lunch, we unload our truck. Unloading takes about 15-30 minutes depending on how many volunteer hands we have to help us. When we get all of our equipment in, we start setting up. Setting up looks like this. The girls start to set up our HUGE screens. There are 2 of them. Since we are a multimedia ministry, videos are a main part of our show. The screens are to show our videos and live footage of the speakers on stage. When we are done setting up the screens, we have to set up pipe and drape. pipe and drape is exactly what it says. we set up pipes and put drapes on them. They help hide our backstage area depending how big the stage is. Once this is done, the girls are released to do our specific jobs. My job is setting up registration. We have 4 signs to set up for registration. At the door tickets, preregistered tickets, and 2 ring purchase signs. After the signs are set up, I start on ring sizing. Ring sizing tables have 3 signs, 4 ring sizers, 2 sticker rolls, pens, and a ring display. It is usually one table for every 100 people. After that, I put the photography signs up and check signs on for ring purchase. Ring purchase tables have 2 cash boxes on them. in the cash boxes are 50 blue wristbands and a ring purchase paper. The registration tables have parent cards and 50 green wristbands in each cash box along with a registration paper. After all of that stuff is set up, we go back into the main auditorium and start taping wires. The girls tape down all the wires and put carpets where needed so people don't trip and fall. By this time, it is usually time to pray. We gather as a team to take prayer requests, talk about how our day has been, and to pray for the show and the students that will be attending. After we pray, we finish up any last minute details. I put up stanchions to block off the genies, which is what holds up our truss with all of our lighting. This way, students will not get hurt or break any equipment. After this, it's time to train volunteers. We all train our certain areas. I help in training ring purchase. Basically, we train all the volunteers in what their jobs will be for that night. Once we are done training, it is dinner time. After we eat, we usually get ready for the show. This means changing into our show shoes, Silver Ring Thing tshirts, and put some makeup on if there is any time. By this time, the students are starting to arrive. Before doors open, Ronnie and I help Mary Scott when needed and help sell merchandise. Once we hear Party in the USA or Cotton Eyed Joe, we close down our merch table. The show is about to start. At this time, I go inside and see the kids dancing and so excited. During the show, I do all of the photography. After kyle does his talk, I hand off the camera and I help again in Registration. After, I head backstage to either be the bride or act in one of the skits. When I'm done, I go back in and take more pictures. During Paco's talk, I upload the pictures and put the watermark on them. I head backstage to pass out commitment cards when the show is over. Commitments are why we do what we do. The students that come forward and get a commitment card are the students that prayed and accepted Jesus Christ into their life that night. THAT is what we are here for. God is the reason for all of it. When we get frustrated and exhausted and are running on red bull, it is with God's strength and love and mercy and compassion. He is the reason. After the show, I head inside to tear down the screens and pray there are volunteers to help us. When we tear down, we take down the screens and pack them away in their cases. After the screens are put away, I am responsible for Eugene. Eugene is my boyfriend [not really]. Eugene is our really ugly wooden beat up case that has no lid and is basically our junk drawer. Inside Eugene goes 3 boxes of drapes, 6 pipe and drape poles, 4 pipe and drape bases, 4 forks for our genies, 5 toolbags, 11 sandbags, 2 gray bins, chainsaw, sledgehammer, curtain rods, costume bag, and any other random stuff that has no place. After that is done, I help Leslie move our lovely 6 foot letters that spell out IMAGE. We load up the truck. Every night we try to beat our record. The fastest we have done with tearing down and packing up is 1 hour and 9 minutes. After the truck is closed up, we gather our stuff and head to our hotels or host homes. Host homes are when families open up their house to let us stay with them. I have met some AMAZING people while staying with them. It's really cool to see how others live and their lifestyles and personalities.

Like I said before, we do it all for Jesus Christ. our 10 hour work days of manual labor and mentally draining jobs, it is all for God. THIS is my life on the road.

Born this way...and I don't mean the song by Lady gag me.

One thing you should know about me is I am extremely negative when it comes to myself. I've always been my worst critic. I've never liked how i looked, and looking in the mirror was my biggest fear. Now, obviously I know I'm not ugly. But I constantly didn't think I was good enough. Because of this, I've learned a lot about myself coming on a tour called "Image is everything."

"Satan is a deceiver. One who gives a false impression." -Janette...ikz

I was constantly worried about what everyone else thought of me. When I wasn't worried about the only one who mattered.

"I find beauty in what you may see as ugly, because somehow Christ saw beauty in me." -Janette...ikz

Why do I constantly want to change the way I look when Christ made me this way.


But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” -1 Samuel 16:7

Don't let anyone tell you you aren't good enough, don't ever use somebody to tell you all the things you want to hear. Listen to the LORD. He will tell you exactly what you want to hear. You have to believe it for yourself before you let anyone else tell you you are perfect. Because in Christ's eyes, you always have and always will be perfect to Him. For we are His children. And don't ever let anyone stop you from being yourself. So for all my ladies out there, know that you are not alone. We all get down on ourselves occasionally. But you were made in Christ's perfect image. So don't ever change. You are beautiful just the way you are! Sometimes, even I need that reminder when I live with 6 other amazing beautiful women of God...who like to work out after every show in every hotel...while I eat a bag of doritos. Haha, but I'm gonna start trying to exercise or eat healthier. Not to change my image, but to be healthy. For your body is God's temple.

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. -1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Bucket List.

Well, having this luxury life on the road and living out the dream that most musicians strive for (even though I'm not a musician...I still perform and tour), I figured it would be best to make a bucket list. Some are already completed, but some have yet to be filled out. SO HERE IT GOES. [in no specific order]

1. Go to all 50 US states. (in the process)
2. Go see dolphins at sunset. (happening tomorrow)
3. Sydney, Australia. enough said.
4. Get married to a guy who will be my lifelong best friend and who loves Jesus more than he loves me.
5. Seek the LORD always.
6. Face my fear and ride the Phantom's revenge at Kennywood.
7. See the Eiffel Tower.
8. Start a movement/ministry.
9. Have a black and white wedding. I'm wearing converse shoes. just saying.
10. Be the maid of honor to my best friend. AKA my older sister. (happening THIS SUMMER! :])
11. Jet ski.
12. Go to an island and present the Gospel. (complete)
13. Be in a movie.
14. Parasailing. (complete)
15. Have a love story/event that would be seen in a movie. Lame example: candlelight dinner on the beach or something.
16. Swim with the dolphins.
17. Get a surfing lesson.
18. Face my fear of fishies and go snorkeling.
19. Become a photographer for a band or huge event...maybe Passion;]

Alright...that's all for now. more to be added once these are complete:]

No one said it'd be easy...

Wellllllp, I am officially back on the road, and my emotions are going crazy. The first week being home, I honestly hated it. You go from going going going all the time to a complete stop. It was a very difficult week, sitting around thinking what the heck do I do now? But that mindset quickly left when I started enjoying the presence of my friends and family. By the end of break, let's just say it was getting harder and harder to even THINK about returning to tour. The thought of 60 more shows just made me cringe. At the beginning of tour, I would've been upset if someone complained about being on the road. We are so blessed to be given this incredible opportunity. I would not trade this opportunity for anything in the world. But by being home, I got a new appreciation for home and my parents. I used to be the type who would say, "forget pittsburgh! I hate this place!" but after being away for 4 months and coming home for a month, I can honestly say I was not expecting to feel this way. No one warned me it was gonna be harder to say goodbye the second time around. I have never wanted home more than I do now. I love tour. I love the road.I love my tour team family. I love seeing kids come to Christ like I did. I love seeing people from all over the country put on the same silver ring I wear as a symbol of them waiting until they are married to have sex. I love my life. But... There is a side of me that also loves home. I love Pittsburgh. I love my family. I love my friends. I love Moontown. I love my home church. I love my bed. I love my room. I love my community. Sometimes, when you love 2 things so much, it's hard to let one go. I know they will all be there when I get back, but that moment of leaving was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. And this was when I realized, it really IS a calling from God. God sent me here for a reason. I try and figure out the reason why every day. But I still don't know why. I am so very thankful for being here and a part of such an amazing ministry. God definitely showed me a verse that I needed to hear...more than ever. "Again Jesus said, "Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you." -John 20:21. I have been sent to be a disciple to all and I feel so blessed for God to want to use a broken girl like me to go out and share His love and mercy that He showed for me. Thank You Jesus. I will follow. Now, also during break, it made me think. ALOT. Mainly, being off the road for a month, I got out of the mindset of being on the road. This left me thinking about future plans and what I am gonna do with my life. Well, I discovered I want to do photography. I started looking into different colleges. If you know me, you know that I was so against college and everything about it. But after attending the recent Passion event, I stood in awe looking around me seeing 45,000 college kids all with their hands raised in worship. The reason I was so against college was the fact didnt want to surround myself with that negativity. 90% of my graduating class picked what school they were going to based on how many parties there were and how big of a party school it was. That wasn't for me. Seeing 45,000 college students that believe the same thing I do really opened my eyes. I realized I still didn't want to go to a party school campus. But the search was awful trying to find Christian schools that offered photography. I then decided to look into Robert Morris university which is 5 minutes from my house. Sure enough, it offered photography. I figured I could live at home and that way I wouldn't have the negativity of a college campus. Well....I went for a campus tour of RMU. I saw the photography program. And let's just say, I hated it. I wanted to cry. I really hated the facility and I knew it wasn't where God had for me. so, the search continued. I was searching online for anything at this point. Well, God showed me a college that I may have fallen in love with. I am praying and trusting in Him. If God has it in His plans for me to go there, I will get accepted...and that will be my deciding factor. Well, the college is...drum roll please... Indiana Wesleyan University. It is a BEAUTIFUL campus (at least so it seems in the pictures) and offers photography and youth ministry as a minor! It is 6 hours away from home....which is a little bit longer than I would have liked, but it is still close enough that I can possibly go home on long weekends. It is a Christ centered school and has mandatory chapel....how awesome is that! That is the type of school I want to go to. God will lead me to where I need to be and where He has planned for me. But in the mean time, all I can do is trust...