Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...

The past 2 months have been interesting for me. A lot of change has occurred...and I'm not used to change. 2 months ago, I ruptured my eardrum inflight causing me to not be allowed to work. And if you know anything about me, you know I'm addicted to my job. I am used to working triple overtime and keeping myself busy as well as never home. A week before I ruptured my eardrum, I moved out of my parents' house and into my own place. So here I am...without a job and never living on my own before. And if you know me well enough, you would know that...I don't do well alone. 

Some of my closest friends (those poor souls) have had to watch me be an emotional roller coaster for 2 months now. Having good days and bad days adapting to this new transition, it hasn't been easy on me. There are some days where I absolutely love living on my own and having the day off. But other days, it tears me apart. Because as most of you have probably experienced for yourself, when you are left alone, you are left with thinking...way too much. 

I am an over thinker. 

I think too much about what people think of me. I think too much about my looks. I think too much about if people like me or not. I think too much about everything.

Tonight, I was left thinking too much. After getting upset about something so small, that's when I came to this realization.

Why does it even matter?

Facebook now has the feature to view your old memories of what you have posted on this day however many years ago. Some of the posts that come up on mine are song lyrics that I have posted in the past. And usually, I am able to tell if I was having a good or bad day at that time in whatever year it was. One year ago from today, I posted song lyrics of Twenty One Pilots...

"Sometimes, to stay alive you've gotta kill your mind."

Just from those lyrics, I was able to tell that on this day one year ago, I was clearly thinking too much. The thing about it though is this. If you were to ask me right now what I was upset about or what I was thinking too much about when I posted that, I would have absolutely no idea how to answer you. 

This made me FINALLY realize that yes, things may upset us in life. Or someone may do something that hurts our feelings. We may not get invited somewhere or someone may ignore our text or snapchat. And we may over think when someone says they like our hair a different way or length. But how we handle that emotion is up to us. Is it really worth getting that worked up over? Is it really worth all that heartache and letting the smallest thing eat us up inside? Because if we take a step back for a moment and look at the bigger picture, are you really going to remember what upset you a year from now? However, the moments you will remember are the positive moments. You will remember the laughs and the jokes that were told. You will remember the moments they FaceTimed you for hours on your birthday. You will remember the bonfires with your friends and the songs that remind you of those nights. You aren't going to remember why you were so upset or why you felt so bad about yourself. 

So the advice that I am giving myself tonight as well as everyone else is this (and yes, sometimes the hardest thing to do is listening to our own advice)...

Don't sweat the small stuff. Is it really worth your happiness or even a friendship?

Prayers.

Father, I am left in my hotel room with thoughts of regret, doubt, and in need of hope. You know the desires of my heart Lord. Help me to trust in Your timing and Your plan for my life. Help me to continuously love others when I can't seem to love myself. The guilt weighs heavily from time to time for the mistakes that I have made and continue to make. Things that I regret doing or not doing always seem to enter my thoughts late at night. Lord, help me to forgive myself and to not dwell on the past. I pray that You help set my eyes on what is to come and the beautiful plan that You have for my life. From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry for the occasional lack of trust in You. I admit I need You Lord. My greatest desire is to know You more Lord. Help guide me in my decisions and let me always remember where You have already brought me from. On a path of destruction, You chose to rescue me. I pray that I never lose sight of that. I pray for continuous opportunities to share Your love and that I may be a light in the darkness. I need Your constant reminder that Your plan is greater than any plan I could ever have for myself. I thank You for Your endless love and mercy in my life. Thank you for forgiving me when I can't forgive myself. Thank You for loving me when thoughts enter saying I'm not good enough for anyone or anything. Constantly striving for perfection, I forget that it's okay not to be okay. Lord, show me how to love like You. Continuously give me a servant's heart so that I may always remember it is better to give than to receive. I love You, Lord. And everyday, I need You. Forgive me of the mistakes that I will make and help me to repent of the sins in my life. Give me such a strong desire to know You more Lord that I may completely lose sight of the things in this world that do not matter. I love You, Father. And thank You for rescuing me from the darkest places.

"How can You love me?," she said to Thee.
"I don't understand how you can forgive so easily.
The mistakes that I've made can't even compare to the price that You paid.
How can You still choose me? I'm not the person You created me to be."
He looked to her and said,
"I remember your sins no more, just wait until you see what I have in store.
I created you perfectly, no need to perfect. When the negative thoughts arise, I promise to interject.
 I love you for who you are, not what you have become.
There is no need to fear, for I know the roots you came from.
You are my daughter, my child, my true and precious love.
And when the thoughts of doubt arise, set your eyes on not the world,
but just remember to simply look above."

Life in the Airline Industry.

Delays, cancellations, overbookings. If you have ever flown before, you have probably experienced at least one of these things. Before I worked for the airlines, I always had this view as a passenger that the employees could care less about delays or cancellations. I mean, they're still getting paid for it, right? So why should they care?

Dang, was I wrong.

Let me be the one to explain to you what our job looks like and how it may be a little different than yours. Your crew members get paid hourly based on flight time. What this means is that our pay starts when the cabin door closes and our pay stops when it opens. This means that all of those delays just sitting on the ground? Yeah, we hate them just as much as you do...if not even more.

Here's an example.

I worked a flight last month that left the gate and was taxiing to the runway when a maintenance issue occurred. We then had to return to the gate and open the cabin door to let maintenance on to fix the problem. That slowly turned into a 3 and a half hour delay where the passengers stayed onboard...meaning we were not allowed to step off the aircraft. For those 3 and a half hours, our crew got paid for 10 minutes...because the door was reopened.

Because of this type of pay, our job looks a little different than a normal desk job. We are able to extend to a 16 hour day when in reality, we could potentially only get paid for 4 hours that day. This makes for a long work day, exhausted crews, and a job that makes it hard to pay the bills. Your job usually would allow for you to work 40 hours a week. Our job only guarantees us 75 flight hours a month. This is why the job can be challenging. Especially for your pilots. Realize that your pilots have most likely spent way more money getting that job than the job offers in return. Getting enough hours to be qualified for the job can become quite expensive.

Even though the job can be tiring and some days feel like it's not worth it, I can honestly say I love my job. If you ask any airline employee that question, there are only a few that would say otherwise. The pros outweigh the cons in my opinion. We get to travel for free, meet people from all over the world, and make friends quicker than anyone. When you start a trip, you are usually introduced to your crew for the first time that day. I have yet to work with the same flight attendant more than once. I do find myself flying with the same pilots on multiple occasions though. It can be exciting when you see someone you know on your schedule for a trip. I have made incredible friends through this industry and keep in touch with a lot of them. It is so exciting getting to explore cities with brand new friends. I love adventuring on my off days, which makes it fun when you have friends that have free flying benefits as well. Meeting up in a random city to explore always makes for an exciting life.

Another thing about our job is that it is addicting. No matter how crappy our day gets, no matter how many cancellations, no matter how many calls from crew scheduling...there is nothing in the world that compares to the view from our "office." I never in my life thought I would be so in love with the sky. When I am on the ground or in my car, I catch myself constantly looking up and watching the clouds go by or watching the planes fly over and wonder where it was flying in from. There is absolutely nothing in the world that compares to the feeling that you're flying.

When I first got this job, I had a totally different view on the airlines. I thought being a flight attendant just meant serving drinks at 25,000 feet. Don't get me wrong, customer service is a huge part of the job. However, we are there for a lot more than that. We go for weeks/months of intense training. Training that I never in a million years thought I would have to do. We are trained for every situation humanly possible that could possibly happen when at 25,000 feet in the air. When you are that high up, there is no one else that can help you. It's all on you. Your flight attendants are your medical professionals, firefighters, and your rescuers. We are trained for any emergency situation including emergency landings, water landings, cabin filled with smoke, attempted hijackings, heart attacks, strokes, you name it. We are trained for hours on what to do in all situations. From the simplest nose bleed to someone having a seizure, we know what to do. Pilots are trained for all types of emergencies as well. Even though they aren't dealing with any passengers, they are in charge of the entire aircraft. Engine failures, bird strikes, lightning strikes, blown tires, landing gear malfunctions, they know how to handle it.

Hours of hard work were put in for us to have this job. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. There are very few days where I feel like I am actually working. If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. And that makes it a beautiful thing. However, the next time you get on a flight, show your appreciation for your airline crews. And realize that our lives are not so luxurious and easy like you may think. Hours of dedication were done in order for us to get you to wherever the sky may be leading you.

So for all my fellow travelers out there, safe travels and happy flying from yours truly:)

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands. -Psalm 19:1