so, I stayed home from school today from being sick. It sucks being sick. but there was also a plus to it. I usually read my Bible at night before I go to bed. I realized today that since I had a day off, I should read. So, I tried reading in the daytime. I realized how much better it is to read than at night. When I read at night, I'm just reading to get by and say I read. but during the day, I was able to finish all of 1 Corinthians. and grasp the meaning of it. just by this simple change of time, I realized how much I've just been "going through the motions" lately. and I hate that. It makes me sick to my stomach. I'm a believer and I should be living for Him, not go through the motions. that's not what being Christian is about. I also realized this. If you don't try to get closer to God, it's not going to happen. It takes effort. If you are struggling with a sin and realize it, and want to change it, but don't try, I can promise you, you aren't going to stop. Living for Christ isn't the easiest thing in the world, in fact, it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. but looking back at my past, I would be MISERABLE if I had no one like God to turn to and help me understand the plan He had/has for me. That's the bonus of having Christ on your side. I can find a reason for every situation now. Everything DOES happen for a reason. I'm giving it my all from now on, no more laziness and not focusing. It's time I get focused. after all He's done for me, it's the LEAST i can do for Him. it makes me sick that i don't do more for Him. that's going to change.
Lately, I've also been seeing how Blessed I am to have the people God put in my life. At the worst time in my life, I needed friends. Good Christian friends. and God gave me just what I needed. The people I hang out with everyday, I call them "the dudes." [you know who you are]. I've been taking a step back for once and looking at our friendship. realizing that when we all hang out, it's not just hanging out. It's a positive influence on me, and I think all of us. I try and imagine my life without them being there for me, and I honestly don't know what I would do without their love and support for me. We joke around alot, and we're jerks to each other, trying to be funny. but after everything, looking back, I've seen each of them grow in Christ and I hope they've been able to see me grow too. I love those guys and would do anything for them, and it means alot to me that God blessed me with such amazing brothers in Christ. I also have a few friends that I've been trying to be the same influence as they are to me. positive. I wanna help them grow in Him and hate to see them struggle with sin. but it's an amazing feeling to be able to share God's Word and plan for both of them. I have faith in them and hope I can allow God to work through me in the best ability to help spread His light on them. I love those 2 girlies with all my heart and can't wait to grow with them in Him.
Recently, I've been Blessed with the opportunity to speak. I wanna take this time now to ask for prayer to pray that it goes well and I don't freeze while preaching. Pray that many hearts will be changed and accept Christ's love for them. I'm getting really nervous, because it is my first time ever preaching, but I've had many good teachers who taught me well. I have heard many good speakers and I pray that I can do the same one day.
I leave now with this verse that has set my heart on wanting more of Him lately.
"Finally, brothers, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus."
-1 Thessalonians 4:1-3
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