You're Beautiful by MercyMe

Days will come when you don't have the strength
And all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart
They'd see too much

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful

Praying that you have the heart to fight
Cuz you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you've held inside so long
But they are nothing in the shadow of the cross

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful

Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You're the one He madly loves
Enough to die!

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
In His eyes

You're beautiful!
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful!
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful!
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful!
You are treasured
You are sacred
You are His<3

My Summer!

Where to even begin. I haven’t blogged all summer really. Waiting to make one big entry at the end. Well, the time is coming where it is almost the end. This summer has been by far the best summer vacation I’ve ever had. And when I use the word vacation, I mean vacation. I have had amazing opportunities this summer and I’d like to share all about it.

My first and second week of summer break, I traveled with my entire family to Outer Banks, North Carolina. It was a fun trip, but nothing too amazing happened for me there. I did however get to talk with my aunt about what her job was. She is a nurse at a rehab center and gets the opportunity to work with teenagers who have come from a horrible family life. Most of the teenagers are there for rehab due to suicidal thoughts and injuries from self harm. I was able to share with her the amazing organization I think we have all heard of, To Write Love On Her Arms. I showed her the story and told her all how it got started. She said she would definitely take the organization back to her other workers to tell them about it.

My third week, I got to spend it with the lovely Mary Scott. She’s a good friend of mine from Raleigh, NC. It was amazing being able to meet her. God truly does place people in your lives for a reason. Mary Scott first became my friend on facebook. Some may think that’s creepy, but I thought it was awesome that we found each other. We both wanted to get to know each other more based on the fact both of us have been praying for tour with the Silver Ring Thing. We have texted every single day since the first day we became friends. And we are continuing that chain until we’re sick of each other. [which isn’t gonna happen]. It has been amazing having a friend that is there to pray for you no matter what is going on. Good or bad, she’s there for me and I like to think I’m there for her too whenever she needs it. I love her dearly and I love her amazing heart for the LORD. It’s been awesome having a sister in Christ. That week, I was also given the AMAZING opportunity to share my testimony for Silver Ring Thing. It wasn’t as hard as I expected it to be. Until later on. Having to go back into the state of mind of before and relive it in my head was a challenging thing to do later on. Your past is there for a reason, to learn from it. And man have I learned alot. A favorite saying of mine is this. Don’t let the past dictate who you are, but let it be a part of who you become.

My fourth week, I traveled to Tampa, Florida to visit my best friend since age birth. Seriously...we’ve been friends forever. I have a photo of me and Chelsie from my first birthday. Chelsie is sitting next to me trying to blow out my candle. At first, I was kind of nervous about going. It’s been so long seeing her (about 3-4 years) that I was nervous we both changed way too much and it would be weird. As soon as I saw her at the airport, I knew that nothing changed. Hugging her and her mom (my second mom since I was little) was the best feeling ever. It felt as if she had never left and we’d never been apart. Everything was the same. Our friendship is so strong, and I realized that alot this trip. I was able to be myself without any problem. We joked like we were 5 again. It was an amazing experience getting to see her new world. I got to see her school, her friends, her home, her ridiculous malls, her lifestyle, and her family again. Her little brother used to be the quietest kid I knew, so I was curious as to how he would react to me being there. HE TALKED THIS TIME. He’s seriously the cutest kid ever and like a brother to me. And I must say, it was fun having a little bro to pick on for a week. THANKS PHIL FOR LETTING ME PICK ON YOU! But throughout this whole week, I was also faced with challenges. God really was there to help me out when I needed it. The enemy was on the prowl that week after sharing my testimony. My testimony has alot to do with self image. Being surrounded by beauty the whole week was a challenge itself. Insecurities coming back, I really had to focus to stay strong. And surprisingly, I just received the verse of the day text that fit perfectly with this blog. Thanks Laura for that text! “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new one has come!” -1 Corinthians 5:17. I thought this fit the topic pretty well. But anyway, in the end, I really realized how God pulled through for me. I know that I am beautiful inside and out, because I am a creation of God. and I am so thankful for Him changing my life.

Coming home for a couple weeks was okay. I was able to intern some and make some amazing friends at SRT. Having to see them go back home was really hard. I miss Holly Kane, Melissa Douglas, Tarah Caldwell, and Rachel Perry a whole lot! Also being home, I had a photoshoot with the awesome photographer, MichaelWill Photography! I highly recommend you check him out. His work will blow you away. He’s an amazing dude and also my Bible Study leader and the speaker that got me saved! Praise God for that. Check him out at www.michaelwill.wordpress.com

My next trip was to Charleston, South Carolina with my church youth group. It was my first mission trip so I was pretty pumped about it. Being able to share God’s love was something I was looking forward to. The week before mission trip, I helped my own church with a Vacation Bible School. The week of mission trip, I found out our working location was going to be a Vacation Bible School with inner city kids. If you know me personally, you’d know I’m not a huge fan of kids...I’m extremely good with them, but I’m not a fan. God really challenged me to open my heart and love on the kids. We also went to the beach. We wanted to do something more for the area. So, our group and the group we were working with at the church thought of something we could do. We went around the beach and passed out free cold water bottles saying God Bless to every single person. We didn’t get rejected once. At the end of the day, we passed out 150 water bottles. And had some awesome conversations along with prayer requests to take back with us. Another amazing experience about that week was our group. Our working groups were also our roommates. I got placed in a room that I didn’t know anyone really well. I was nervous about how it would turn out. But it ended up being the best experience because of the amazing girls I was with. My leader was my youth pastor’s wife. I knew my youth pastor really well, but I never got the chance to meet her. So it was already an amazing chance to get to know her and I love her to death! The girls and I really bonded and I got to know them really well and in the end, I now think we will all go to each other if we need anything at all such as life advice. They definitely made it the best week for me.

“This one time, at band camp...” Yes, lovely old band camp was my next trip. We went to Washington and Jefferson College for a week. Let me tell you, marching band is not as dorky as it seems. We worked 12 hours a day in the intense HOT sun. I think I lost a total of 10 pounds in one week. Being captain of the majorette squad has been fun but challenging at times. But for the performance, I had a wonderful surprise guest come, Missy from SRT. It meant so much to me to see her face in the crowd:] We also started to have our senior perks for band. That is so weird to say...I’M A SENIOR! It’s about stinkin’ time. The band parents made us a cake that had our picture on it. That’s when it hit me hardest that this is my last year. I’m excited, but sad at the same time. I never thought I’d say that. But it’s true. Also being seniors, we did senior skits. They went really well, and it definitely was fun getting to act for the first time in my life. Surprisingly, I was better at it than I thought. I was able to keep a straight face! That was an awesome thing for me to accomplish. I have a feeling it is going to be a good band season. Long and exhausting, but good.

The next week was my 18th birthday! SWEET. I had fun with my adventures of being 18. I did some fun stuff with the dudes who I haven’t seen in a while. Spending time with them was a good time. We went to get cigarettes...because I could. DON’T WORRY. I WILL NEVER SMOKE. I went to the mall and got my ear pierced...because I didn’t need a stupid parent signature. Later, we drove around in a limo to visit some friends working at KFC. Then, it was band time. After band practice, I went back to hang with the dudes. We went to record a youtube video. It kinda failed. But oh well. And for reasons left unsaid, we ended up homeless. Me and Samy called DJ at 3 a.m. and thankfully, he opened his house for us to stay in. The bad luck coincidentally happened on Friday the 13th...WEIRD. But after a fun day and night, it definitely was filled with fun adventures and fun times.

My life kind of died down after that and isn’t so hectic and crazy. Except for now, because I am currently typing this in a hotel with Tiff. We are in King’s Island. On a mini vacation. We are at a waterpark called Great Wolf Lodge. In the hotel, it has a thing called MagiQuest. I paid 30 dollars for a pink wand. You go around the hotel finding certain objects and use your wand to say you found it. It’s quite amusing. And also hilarious considering we are playing the game with 7 year olds. You can never be too old to have fun. It makes me feel like a kid again. And when we got back to the hotel, we turned on the tv and Princess Tiffany and Savvy are in the top 5 for most of the categories! WOO! Also, while playing the game, a girl came up to me and commented saying she liked my shirt. My shirt is a Silver Ring Thing shirt. I was like, HECK YEAH! It got me pumped to have someone in Ohio comment on it. REPRESENT. Another fun event that happened was an EXTREME bubble bath. We filled the jacuzzi tub with bubbles...overflowing bubbles. IT WAS SUPER LEGIT. I couldn’t tell when the water ended and the bubbles started. It was a good time.

So, I think this is all there was to update about my life. It’s getting hard to think because this blog is so long. And if you are still even reading this far, props to you. I will fill you in when I have more to write about! I want to leave with a new saying I learned and I love dearly. “Change your thinking, change your world.”

Growing in faith.

So, today, I had an amazing talk with Denny Pattyn, the founder of Silver Ring Thing, and he realllllllly helped me out. Recently, I've been praying on what God's plan is in my life, and trying to give Him full control on what He wants. If it includes Silver Ring Thing tour, i would be so thankful. It's a dream of mine, and i'm dreaming a dream so big that only God can make it happen. but if it isn't what He wants and i don't make it, I'm fully trusting in Him and I KNOW it's in His plan. it's all apart of His perfect will for my life. If it includes college, He'll slowly reveal that to me and reveal where. If it's just doing ministry without college, it's what He wants. i've just been praying alot about it lately. And it's teaching me to have patience. His response to my prayers are not going to come overnight. but anyways, Denny really helped me lay things out on being a Christian, and just helping me grow in my faith. and let me tell you, i was overwhelmed today with His presence. it was an incredible feeling. He showed me a demonstration on Christianity. and how to explain it to some people. and I really felt like sharing it on here, hoping to reach some people by his demonstration. and this is what he laid out for me.

God, if you look up God in the Webster dictionary, one of the definitions says perfect. God is perfect. he said, all of us can anything the dictionary says, so why is it so hard to accept the fact that God is perfect? it says it in the dictionary right? so, God is perfect by definition.

Picture God as a glass of water. since God is perfect, think of that water being perfect with no contaminants in it. Water that we are able to drink.

Now think of yourself. I think of myself as imperfect, by example. We all have sinned. So with that sinning, we've made our glass of water imperfect, and undrinkable. If you pour our impure water into God's glass of water, it'd make it imperfect. but that can't be, since God is perfect. so what does this mean? it's saying that you cannot go to Heaven because you are not perfect. and God is perfect. so you're probably asking, what? I can't go to Heaven?

But because God's water is perfect, God sent His Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for our sin [our imperfect water]. Well, when you think of Jesus, is Jesus perfect? think about that. name some sins He's committed. *pause to think* that's right. you can't think of any. after 2,000 years, no one can prove that Jesus committed any sins. by this fact, Jesus Christ was perfect by definition AND example. making His water perfect like God. because He is God in the flesh. now, this still doesn't answer the question, how can we get to Heaven? well, along with Jesus, God also shared His perfect water by the Holy Spirit. Now, the Holy Spirit is perfect. when you are saved, you accept Jesus Christ into your life. but you also are given the Holy Spirit. who now lives inside of you. Because the Holy Spirit lives inside of you, God is able to wash away your contaminated water and forgive you of your sins. Now, even though it says your sins are forgiven, it does not say your sin is forgiven. You are still going to continue sinning by being a Christian. but because we now have that Holy Spirit, He helps cleanse us. this does not mean you can go sinning everyday. It now allows you to use the Holy Spirit to help you realize the sinning in your life. and help you recognize it and help you repent of it. Also, think of God as water again. water can be in 3 different forms. An ice cube, water, and steam. An ice cube representing Jesus Christ...an ice cube helps heal wounds. the same as Jesus Christ, who was sent to die for our sins in order to help heal us. water, being completely clean and perfect, the same as God. steam, as being the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit lives inside of us. We all believe we have souls. but we can't see it. just like steam. just like the Holy Spirit. We just can feel it, and it changes our hearts completely. Because of the Holy Spirit, we are given His great love for us and allows us to get through the gates of Heaven.

If anyone is confused on any of this, I'm willing to help explain. It was overwhelming for me to hear and grasp, but it definitely helped me grow in my faith alot today. I hope this helped some, and I thank Denny Pattyn for this demonstration. It blew my mind. and really got me going on my faith. Praise God.

Verse of the day on Bible Gateway:
The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
-Psalm 121:7-8...I needed to hear that. <3

Everything Falls by Fee

You said
You´d never leave or forsake me
When you said
This life is gonna shake me
You said
This world is gonna bring trouble on my soul
This I know

When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You´re the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
You keep holding on
You keep holding on

When I see
The darkness all around me
When I see
The tragedy has found me
I still believe
Your faithful arms will never let me go
And still I know

When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You´re the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
You keep holding on
You keep holding on

Sorrow may last for the night
But hope is rising with the sun
Its rising with the sun
There will be storms in this life
But I know You will overcome

When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You´re the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find You mighty and strong
You keep holding on

When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You´re the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find You mighty and strong
You keep holding on
You keep holding on.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. ⁷Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. -1 Peter 5:6-7

Dying.

That word seems to bring fear to most people. A fear that even I'm afraid of. A fear that I felt I almost encountered today. None of us ever know how long we will be on this earth. It's just a temporary home, as Carrie Underwood likes to say it [I hate country...but it was necessary]. We all act as if we're going to be here until we're 80-90-100 such years old [some say young...depending on how you look at it]. We all make plans as if tomorrow is going to come and be a marvelous day in the neighborhood. Making plans for vacations that won't happen until another month or two, or even a year or two. Planning what college you are going to attend, or what job you wanna get, or what you wanna be when you grow up. Deciding which path to take, the good path or the path of destruction. We always look at life as if it's not that big of a deal. We all wonder what God has in store for us next, but fail to look at if His plan is for us to be sent to judgement day possibly tomorrow. We all see the tragedies on the news of what happened to the teenagers that were found killed, or someone was shot at, or down to the simplest thing, a kid got bit by a dog and now the family wants to sue. But do we ever think, what if that were me? Do we ever think to try and comprehend the pain that family is going through? Imagine losing someone who you love that you never thought you'd have to see the day where you had to say goodbye. Think of the pain you would have to deal with. Tragedies happen everyday on the news, but it is viewed just as a show on tv. We watch it to get the gossip of the world. Tragedies happen, yes. But what if it were you next...

What made me start to think all of this, is the fact, I was almost in a car accident today...it had the potential to be a BAD one. so bad, I wouldn't be here right now typing this. Praise the LORD for watching over me. I had KLOVE music on the radio, and my guardian angel in my car. Honestly, if I didn't have Jesus with me, I wouldn't be here right now. The car would've hit head on into the driver's side...I was driving. Honestly, it scared the crap out of me. I'm not ready to die...yet. I have so much living and spreading the Word left to do. but the whole incident, made me realize how LUCKY I am to be alive. and how Blessed I am. and how ashamed I am for the sin in my life. It was definitely a much needed eye opener to say that no sin is worth eternal damnation. Living for God is the only option we have to have our spirits live forever. and if we see someone else struggling with sin, go after them and help them find God before it's too late. Think about who you want to see again in Heaven. don't let someone close to you lose in the end from sin. I realized that if I were to get sent to judgement day, and stand before the LORD Himself, what would He do with me? I'm not worthy of His love. I am ashamed at what He would say to me. But He, still, somehow loves me and cares so much for me. I can't thank Him enough that I'm alive.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. -Isaiah 40:18-31.

Update.

so...I didn't realize that it's been a while since I've blogged. I also just realized that I never shared my experience of preaching for the first time in my life. so HERE'S THE STORY...

well, I'm so proud to say I got the humble privilege to speak for my church's youth group. and let me just say, nervous was an understatement of how i felt. my youth group contains about 200 middle schoolers and high schoolers. making me that much more nervous. thanks to dylan for his positive encouragement. "Savannah, just remember. If you mess up......it's going on the website for the world to see!" thanks for that dylan. unfortunately, it didn't get recorded. so even though i didn't mess up, it didn't go on the internet...something with recording it went wrong:/ BUT ANYWAYS. I just wanted to share everything that went on that night inside of me.

First off that night, I was freaking out nervous, like I said, almost to the point where I wanted to throw up. all there was left for me to do, was get down and pray. Once everyone showed up and service got started, I realized there was nothing left I could do. It wasn't in my control on how much I practiced, if I didn't practice enough or what not. so, service got started and we had worship time and worship music to start everything off. I tried staying focused during music. Just surrendering and giving it my all. Once worship was over, I was no longer me. all fears and nerves, completely gone. I went up on stage, and I don't remember a thing. I let the LORD speak through me and control everything. and, as expected, because God is amazing, He took over, and according to others, I did awesome. all I know is, that was the deciding factor, that this is what God is calling me to do. He is calling me to do youth ministry. It is what the LORD wants, and no longer about me...because let's face it. we ALL hate public speaking. I give You control LORD. I hand You my life, and I Praise You for all the opportunities You continue to give me LORD. You are amazing, and I don't deserve any of Your love. thank You for controlling my life. I love You LORD!

I now leave you with one of my favorite, and a famous Bible verse...

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. -Proverbs 3:5-6

Lyrics.

Lyrics always get to me and get me through the day. Today I thought I'd try something different. I was home alone, sick, and realized my intercom was on. I hate my intercom because it always has the radio on...with country music. so, instead of shutting it off like usual, I changed it to K love, 98.3...awesome station, to listen to while in the shower. a song came on that I've heard so many times. but I've never really stopped to take in the meanings of the lyrics. I know I posted another blog about Casting Crowns lyrics. but these lyrics...MAN. Casting Crowns just seems to have the most powerful lyrics. the song was east to west. and after going through a time where I needed to trust in Him more, I broke down.

Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight
I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west
'cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me

Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other.

These lyrics made me break down crying. Yeah, I've heard it so many times. but today, it just hit me...hard. I can't bear to see the person I've been, my past, my sin, my life of destruction, I can't see it rise up in me again, I won't let it. I don't wanna end up where He found me. being a Christian hasn't been easy, but it's so worth it all in the end. I sometimes act like nothing is wrong with me. when on the inside, I can seem broken. Broken of sin. I'm one mistake away from Him leaving me broken. But I know that isn't how it has to be. And last night, it literally did keep me awake.

O LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger

or discipline me in your wrath.

Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint;

O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony.

My soul is in anguish.

How long, O LORD, how long?

Turn, O LORD, and deliver me;

save me because of your unfailing love.

No one remembers you when he is dead.

Who praises you from the grave?

I am worn out from groaning;

all night long I flood my bed with weeping

and drench my couch with tears.

My eyes grow weak with sorrow;

they fail because of all my foes.

Away from me, all you who do evil,

for the LORD has heard my weeping.

The LORD has heard my cry for mercy;

The LORD accepts my prayer.

-Psalm 6:1-9